Growth is everything to me. Finding new ways to become a better version of myself excites me. New ways to improve, to learn, to call myself out on my own bullshit. But here's the thing, growth can be uncomfortable. Growth can be scary because sometimes in order to evolve to the next chapter in your life, you have to shed some old skin or let go of dead weight.
Looking yourself in the mirror and realizing you have some toxic behaviors or negative thought patterns or impulsive tendencies or deep childhood traumas can fucking suck. Who wants to admit that they fall short in certain areas? Said another way, who wants to face the fact that they might have some toxic patterns or destructive behaviors? I know, it seems easier to just stay comfortable in your current discomfort. But, I can promise you - it's not a place you want to live in forever.
I spent about 6 years of my life in a destructive state of mind. I didn't grow in those 6 years because I figured it was just too hard. That I just wasn't capable or worthy of evolving, of living a life I was proud of. I was stuck. So naturally, I kept people around me that were worse off than I was and the cycle continued.
Remember, we attract what we are, not what we want.
Are the people in your life growing with you and promoting your growth?
This is a question I want you to take some time to sit with today.
Evaluate your circle. Are these people you keep around because you have known them for so long? Do they fit your current life? Are they growing with you? Are they remaining stagnant? Do they have their own goals and aspirations? Are they intimidated by your growth? Or worse, are they acting like they support you but really have an underlining jealousy? Are they supporting your creativity or just trying replicate it?
I love this quote I saw years ago.
You are either growing together or you are growing apart.
I have lived by it ever since. I can't hold space for people in my life who don't have a desire to become better, to grow, to evolve. People who are not open to opportunities to better themselves in some way.
Let it be known that I do not mean that I expect people to change who they are, not at all. I am meaning that I want to see my people bloom. To grow into an elevated version of who they are.
Chances are if you're reading this, you're on your growth journey. Anyone who listens to my show, watches my videos, and reads these blogs are the ones who are doing the internal growth work. I am proud of you for wherever you find yourself on your journey right now, btw.
And so, as you are blooming, the people you keep around you must also be in their own transformation otherwise you will eventually grow apart... Or you will allow them to bring you down.
We are the 5 people we spend the most time with
This is such an obvious fact that I cannot believe I didn't learn sooner. You are who you surround yourself with. This is why generational curses are passed down, why your parents didn't want you hanging around Molly who was always partying too hard. This is why you see a group of friends who get belligerent every weekend or a group of men who cheat on their partners when they go on a guys trip.
Think of this in the sense of a work environment. Working with negative coworkers who complain and speak negativity all day inevitably leaves you feeling an energy drain each day.
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS: THE OPPOSITE IS ALSO TRUE!
If you keep people around you who want to be better, want to travel the world, want to experience everything that life has to offer before they're no longer here - they will inspire you to do the same.
If your friends want to start a family, build a business, become an artist full time, write their own book, take a sabbatical to find themselves, be able to retire at 50, give their kids the best life possible, be in the best shape of their lives, lead an exceptional relationship with their spouse, become a coach, become a millionaire to give their family financial freedom, to become a doctor or a traveling nurse, to move up the ladder at their job they love, to fucking be the best version of themselves... You will inspire each other, push each other, encourage one another. A beautiful energy exchange.
I am not saying your friends need to all want extravagant lifestyles or have the desire to hold important job titles. But think about what you want in this life. What do you want to accomplish? Who do you want to be? What does the best version of you look like?
Once you're clear on that, audit your circle. Are the people you spend the most time with in alignment with where you're going?
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