I have a big topic to cover today so get ready to track with me here. I am talking all things acceptance. Learning to accept things and people exactly as they are in each state is key to striving in every area of your life. In order to achieve acceptance you must first become aware, after all, you cannot accept something if you don't acknowledge it. The major key in accepting anything is being able to be present in this moment.
Accepting who you are...
Learning to accept who you are in this very moment, in whatever state you currently find yourself in, is non-negotiable.
Have you ever woken up and gone to the bathroom only to look at yourself in the mirror and become completely horrified by your messy hair, that pimple that came out of nowhere, those crusty eye boogies, or yesterdays mascara smeared under your eyes? In that moment you most likely started to negatively spiral and judging the fuck out of yourself for not looking like Jennifer Lopez when you wake up in the morning. What if I told you that in that moment all you had to do was smile and accept the absolute hot mess that you are and you would start your day off on a better note? THAT'S A FACT SIS.
But I didn't write this blog to talk about accepting the way you look in the morning. I want to dig deeper. This is about accepting who you are in this moment. Not what you look like, how big your ass is or isn't, the color or style of your hair... No, this is about who you are at your core right here, right now. Maybe you need to work on your attitude or need to start creating better habits in your life or begin honoring your commitments... In order to grow or evolve in any way, you must first accept yourself for exactly as you are without judgement. If you don't accept who you are right now then you cannot love who you are right now and if you don't love who you are right now then you won't find that love for yourself.
If your partner does something wrong or annoys you in some way, do you suddenly stop loving them? Probably not. So why then, do we not love ourselves even when we don't have it all together?
Please hear me when I say this, YOU ARE A HUMAN FUCKING BEING. As a human, you will fuck up, you will fall back into a bad habit you swore you got rid of, you will say something you instantly regret, you will make mistakes, you will get lost along the way, you will have a bad attitude for seemingly no reason sometimes. So can we just agree that accepting who you are for the HOT mess that you are is the most freeing act you can do for yourself? We tend to hold ourselves to these impossible standards and when we do that, we close ourselves off to growth. It's impossible to grow exponentially when you are constantly judging yourself.
It's important to note that I am not at all making excuses for your lower-self behaviors. I am saying however that in order to move on, you must just accept the fact that you didn't make as much progress as you wanted to so far in 2022 on a personal level. Dwelling keeps you stuck. We're not making excuses, you are simply accepting who you are in this moment while also understanding the version of yourself that you are striving to become.
Once you accept who you are, you create an awareness, an understanding. Then, you can act upon your discovery. You can create traction based on your awareness of what needs to change without falling into a negative loop of self-hatred. Accepting who you are right now opens the door to growth because now you have assessed who you have been showing up as and can make changes based on what you found and accepted. Who you are at your core doesn't change but a lot of the time we are acting out of alignment with our true selves. When you are out of alignment and you accept that, then you create space for growth. Accepting who you have been showing up as does not mean that you are going to remain the same.
Go look in the mirror and say to yourself "I accept that I_________". For example, "I accept that I did not show up as my best self today and I am declaring that tomorrow I will honor my commitments that I make to myself.". Obviously you can get more specific but just see how that feels. Then take it a step further and do the Mel Robbins high five technique aka literally give yourself a high five in the mirror.
Accepting where you are...
Now that you are on board with accepting who you are so that you can evolve into your best self, it's time to accept WHERE you are. Of course you probably want more for yourself but just track with me here for a minute. Let's say you have been working towards a big goal of yours and you are feeling stuck because you have not seen much progress then you start to stress yourself out focusing on the fact that you are not where you want to be. In that moment, you must get to a point where you can talk yourself off the ledge by first accepting where you are.
Ok I know what you are thinking, how the fuck do I accept where I am right now? Bring awareness to your situation. Why are you in this position? In order to figure out how you got to this point where you feel stagnant or disappointed, access the situation from a larger view. What has worked? What hasn't worked? Take 20 minutes in your journal answering those questions. After you have answered those in detail, what can you do moving forward to achieve more traction? This is how you come to accept where you are in this current moment.
Acceptance is key to moving forward in a positive direction, otherwise you will be moving through life like a chicken without a head. I don't want that for you and I hope you don't want that for you. I started to journal on these questions each week just to have weekly check ins with myself to ensure I am progressing and showing up in alignment with myself so that I can get to where I want to be.
When you go through the motions without accepting your current circumstances, you will get no where. You cannot achieve any goals if you don't accept your current situation for exactly as it is. After accepting, not dwelling, you are able to move forward with clear direction. Without acceptance, you get stuck in the negative loop cycle of feeling shitty about where you are at and then you just feel shitty about yourself and the vicious cycle continues. You spiral. This is why acceptance of your current situation is absolutely necessary to make on changes.
Accepting other people for who and where they are...
I recently texted a few friends asking if there was anything they were struggling with right now or any topic that they would like more insight on. I told them I was brainstorming ideas for future videos and blogs and would be grateful for any input they had. One of them said acceptance is something they have been journaling on a lot recently. This is a topic I will talk about again and again because it's always relevant.
I could not write a blog on acceptance without writing on the importance of accepting other people for exactly who they are and where they find themselves in the present moment. SO often we subconsciously want to mold people to be what we think they should be or people try to mold us to be who they want us to be. Most of the time this isn't done in a malicious way, it's mostly subconscious. But this creates major disconnect and causes us to become out of alignment with who we truly are at our core.
Accepting who someone else is, for exactly as they are, is monumental. When you truly accept someone, you stop trying to change or fix them. You allow them the space to make changes in their own way and time. Accepting others for who they are is freeing because then you are not moving through life trying to control anyone or any circumstance. You allow everything and everyone to be as they are, and then you can act based on what you find to be true.
It is hard enough trying to change yourself, stop trying to change everyone else. Focus on making changes in your own life and hopefully that positive energy will rub off on them. This is especially hard when love is involved. When you love someone, you want what is best for them and so you try to force change on them which usually has the opposite effect. I am not saying that you shouldn't communicate to your loved ones that some changes may benefit them but I am saying that you cannot force it on them. It's actually impossible anyway, if someone doesn't want to change, they won't... No matter how hard you try.
Accepting who they are is freeing for you. They are not your responsibility no matter how much you love them. When you accept them for who they are, you allow them to grow in their own time and you release your underlying need to control.
When you don't accept people for who and where they are, this causes resentment and that negativity festers inside of you and weighs you down. Accepting is an act of letting go. Letting go of control, negativity, how you think things or people should be. This is how you become free. Accepting others is not only for them but also for you.
Acceptance is a big topic, it will always be in conversations and I will most likely talk about it over and over. We just touched the tip of the iceberg, if you would like more on the topic feel free to reach out to me via Instagram.
As always,
Have a great fucking day (and week) and remember, you are entirely up to you!
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