Are you feeling overwhelmed, overworked, unappreicated, burnt out, or unhappy? I have been seeing so many people feeling lost lately through social media. I have been seeing people say, "I have everything and yet I'm still unhappy, unmotivated, uninspired, uninterested, moody, and boring".
First thing I want you to know is that life is a series of finding and losing yourself. My book is all about this and I give you so many tools and share countless experiences I've had with losing and finding myself. But I want you to know that all hope is not lost.
I love that I am seeing more people open up and share their vulnerabilities with the world because it does show others that they are not alone. That's just the first step, opening up and sharing your story and connecting with others relating to each other is awesome. The next step is to reach for a solution. The good news is, there are a shit ton of solutions and today's blog is all about the options you have.
My intention with this blog is to provide you with things you can do to heal and find your way back to yourself. The most important thing to remember is that your happiness is your responsibility. You need to make your happiness, your well being, your mental health TOP priority. Which means you must put yourself first. As women, this goes against our nature, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE KIDS.
But hear me when I say this - you cannot be the best mama, best daddy, best husband, best wife, best friend, best daughter or son, best version of yourself IF YOU ARE NOT DOING THINGS TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE GOOD.
Finding happiness is really, choosing happiness. So, how do you CHOOSE happiness? Let me explain...
The most common excuse I hear is "I don't have time.". It doesn't matter what you have going on in your life, you need to ditch that excuse right now. You make time for what is important to you, and I'm not going to sugar coat this - if your happiness is not a priority then you must make major change in your life. How can you expect to be happy if you don't take care of yourself mentally and physically?
Your happiness is your responsibility, not anyone else's, not even your partners. Another thing I hear and see a lot is people expecting their husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, to just know that they are going through a hard time. No one is a mind reader. Of course our romantic partners have a pretty good understanding of how we are feeling based on our actions. I tend to give attitude when I'm feeling off, which is totally normal and human but at the end of the day I cannot expect Brian to know I'm suffering internally just because I'm irritated.
WE MUST LEARN TO COMMUNICATE HOW WE ARE FEELING WE CANNOT EXPECT OUR PARTNERS OR FRIENDS OR FAMILY TO READ OUR MINDS OR READ BETWEEN THE LINES. If you are feeling overwhelmed or overworked, speak up. ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.
As women, and those of you men that can relate as well, we are so accustomed to doing everything. Getting it all done. Doing all the things, as I always say. I know that's the case for me. I am that "I'll do it myself type of woman". This is because I was forced to grow up quick and was always the rock of my family even as a young child, I was given that role, I did not choose it. But as I got older, it's a role I continue to have. I struggle with asking for what I need now, but it's something I get better at each time I practice. I encourage you to do the same. You will be surprised how much support you receive when you finally ask for what you need. Most likely, the support you desire is there, you are just not asking for it. You tell yourself that if you don't do it, it won't get done or it won't be done properly. Release that need for control sis.
You are not a super hero. You need help and support too but you will never receive it if you don't learn to ask for it. In order to feel happier, to align yourself with your best self, you need to make time for yourself. This will require you to ASK FOR HELP. Ask your husband or wife to work with you so you can have an hour dedicated to yourself. And actually use that time to do things that better yourself, don't use that time to just sit and watch TV or scroll social media. Use the time you get wisely. Ask your partner to do this dishes after you cook or help you clean the house or whatever else you might need.
CREATE A JOY LIST - if you are new here this is something I swear by. A joy list is a list full of all the smallest and biggest things that bring you joy. A small cup of coffee from the small business you love, a fancy dinner with your honey at a new restaurant, a good smelling candle, a great gym sesh, a hike, a week long vacation to another country, a road trip, zip lining, a beach trip, mani and pedi, a good book, flying first class, expensive champagne, a facial, a massage, ETC.
There are so many things on my list, it's pages long now. I go back and add new things to it like every 6 months. I've also put it on my phone in my notes so that I always have a list of things I can choose from to bring me joy. The next step to this is to freaking pick something off this list to do every single day. This is why I say add small things like a delicious cup of coffee or reading a book with a glass of wine, because those are things you can literally do any day of the week & anywhere.
Here's the thing my friend, we can focus on the problems or we can use our energy to find a fucking solution. It's great to open up and be vulnerable and vent but we also must remember not to harp on an issue over and over without ever doing something about it. If you don't like where you are right now or how you're feeling that's a clear sign that you need to do things differently. You need to try new things, put yourself in different environments, find your way back to yourself.
It's okay to feel lost, it's okay to feel overwhelmed and unhappy. Even when you find your happiness again, it doesn't mean every single day you will wake up with a positive mindset. It's a conscious choice you must make everyday. I don't wake up or end each day happy. I have bad days, horrible days even. But I always come back to center, realign, and learn from whatever it is I'm going through.
There's always a way out and the way out is always through, not over. So often we want a quick fix or for things to change in an instant. Truth is, change doesn't happen over night. If you are feeling this down, it will take effort and it will take time. But baby steps will get you there. Start small. Start with ONE HOUR a day to yourself. Little by little, you will begin to highly value that time alone and you will use that time to fill your cup back up.
Think of your car. It can't run on E forever. If you let it, it will break down. It will literally shut off completely. Then you would need to find a way to get to a gas station and get the fuel and give your car what it needs to restart. Think of this as a fresh start for you. A new beginning. An opportunity to change your life completely. Fill your tank back up.
Do what you need to do for yourself. Put yourself first. Choose joy again and again. And you will find your way back to YOU.
I am sending you so much loving energy and I am always rooting for you. I hope you feel that love in these words. I hope you find valuable information through this blog. Most of all, I hope you choose one of these solutions and begin your journey back to yourself.
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