My best friend and I were at my house one night just vibin'. We are both working towards goals that are completely out of the box, not your typical careers. A musician and a writer/entrepreneur/life coach. Both working towards goals that sometimes seem too big.
It doesn't really matter what it is that you are working towards, if you are struggling this blog is for you. Goals can seem daunting when there's so much that requires your attention, when the money isn't coming in as hefty as you wish it was, when you have people around you well into their careers and you're just starting out. When you are in your chapter 1 and they're in chapter 10, it's easy to compare. But here's the deal, you are your only competition. Stop worrying about fitting in, what other people think, and keeping up with the newest (and let's be real, most expensive) trends. Don't go broke for the louie bag just because most girls you know are walking around with one.
We sat in my office for awhile as I read her a chapter from my book and we stopped to talk in-between paragraphs. I got to watch my work in real time. We had the most genuine and heartfelt exchange and it wasn't just because of the bond we share. I was able to help her with the words I wrote and finally I was reminded of why I am doing this work. She had an epiphany and because that is her story not mine, I won't share all the details. But that night, in my most sacred space (my office), the inspiration was unmatched for both of us.
She was at a point where she felt like nothing was working, she felt like she was being pulled in many directions, and she wondered why she wasn't making much traction. Today, that same friend texted me about how much money she made at her serving job (it was A LOT btw), a job she has had many mixed feelings about because it's not a "real job" or not a "day job". But really, having this job affords her the opportunity to be in her desired field three days a week. She has a lot of people around her who are successful in their careers and if she would have allowed the fear of being judged for having a serving job to force her to get a day job, she would've never had the opportunity to be in a real studio, studying other musicians, doing what she loves.
Stop blocking your blessings
It's so crazy how life works. We go through series of ups and downs all the time, highs and lows. But if we intentionally learn from each high and each low, we go into the next chapter of our lives more evolved. My friend is thriving right now and it makes my heart so happy for her. You could be thriving too, in your own way. If you just stop blocking the opportunities and the blessings. How do you stop blocking? You start allowing. You stop allowing fear to be the driver. If you are driven by fear, you get the opposite of what you want.
Ironically, despite having so many great things happening in my life, I fell off the wagon a bit. There is so much I am working towards right now and it sometimes scares the fuck out of me. When you are working towards something bigger, like becoming an entrepreneur and life coach and getting your first book published, you don't see the financial benefits for a bit. This caused me to start panic-searching for a new job that pays more because I started getting antsy, I started allowing fear to take over.
Fear is fucking powerful but there's one emotion that trumps it, love. when you choose gratitude and you choose love, you open yourself up to opportunities. When you choose to love yourself, love for your people, love for the process, love for the work you are doing, gratitude for the money you have even if it's not much, gratitude for the blessings you are already experiencing and the ones on their way to you, that's when you receive. When you stop focusing on lack or fear of what others think, when you stop worrying and stressing yourself out, you step into an elevated version of yourself.
Let go of whatever bullshit story you keep replaying in your head. There's so much more out there for you, and for me, and for my friend, and for everyone. The problem is, most of us don't even realize that we are in our own fucking way. Get out of your own way.
YOU ARE THE PROBLEM
Okay, I never thought that I would say this, but I'm a new fan of Taylor Swift. I never liked her music and if I'm being honest, I never wanted to either. I blame my friend for making me listen to her recently but ANYAY, yep, you're the problem. You are in your own fucking way and that's why you aren't seeing progress or change. You aren't seeing traction because you are blocked in some form. Maybe you're wasting too much time watching TV, maybe you keep telling yourself you need that job you hate because it pays the bills, maybe you decides you aren't capable of doing any more than you already are. Whatever lame story you keep repeating over and over, that's your reality.
You're right, you aren't capable. But not because you don't have the talent or the work ethic or the ability. You are not capable because you keep telling yourself that you aren't. You have already decided you don't have what it takes, so you don't. I had an old coach who was the best of the best (shout out to Shawn Murphy) who pushed us to the limit. He would yell so much and so loud when we would say "I can't...", I will never forget that. Now, whenever I tell myself I can't do something I can hear him yelling at me. If you keep telling yourself you can't do the damn thing than you are right, you never will.
Or you can shut the fuck up. You can stop telling yourself that you aren't capable and that you can't get the fuck up and do whatever it is that you want. You can stop comparing your chapter 3 to their chapter 12. You can believe in yourself and work hard to achieve your goals. You can put in the work and allow the universe and God to meet you half way. You can achieve your wildest fucking dreams, but only if you let go of those senseless, "woe is me" stories you keep telling yourself.
The choice is yours. No one can do it for you. No one will be in your ear every morning inspiring you to get the fuck up and stop sleeping in so late. Sure you will have support and hopefully you will have people cheering you on along the way, but that all means nothing if you don't believe in yourself.
P.s. Here is a picture of my vision board wall. It's filled with so many images and quotes and words and numbers that inspire me. It's a constant reminder every morning of what I am working towards. This is what I showed my friend Meg that night we spent vibin' in my office. I worked on this for awhile and I am sharing it with you in hopes that it inspires you in the same way it inspired her.
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