It's a FUCK NO for me. I'm at a point in my life where I only want to make time for things that add value to my life, while also only putting myself in situations where I can add value.
You get to a point in your life where you either live the same experiences over and over or you do things differently. You have heard me say countless times, "I do what others won't today, so I can live how others can't tomorrow". That quote stuck with me since the day I first read it. I have it written on the wall in my home gym, I say it on the podcast in multiple episodes, I say it in motivational videos, and I'll say it here on the blog. It's powerful.
I'm not sure about you, but when I lose sight of what I'm working towards... Rather, when I lose sight of WHY I'm working towards these goals, I fall back into old habits. Watching too much TV. Eating foods that make me feel like shit, often. Gossiping. Judging. Scrolling social media with no intention, just consuming mindless content. When you lose sight of your why, that's when you fall off.
Ultimately, everything I do comes down to the same reasons. I want to become my best self because I want to give people the best energy, I want to live a life I love and am proud of, I want to help as many people as I can along the way, I want to be vulnerable in hopes of letting others know they're not alone, I want to connect with people on a deeper level. My why is strong, but despite it's deep meaning, I can lose sight of it.
I recommend writing down your WHY at least once a month, if not once a week. Why do you want to be the best mama? Why do you go to the gym? Why do you want to be financially free? Why do you want to become the best version of yourself? Why do you want to achieve that goal? WHY?
When you are clear on your why and when you keep it fresh in your mind, you stop allowing things or people into your space that don't align with where you are going or who you want to be.
I used to allow so many things I never should have. I used to allow people to speak down on me and I used to allow their words to hit me to my core. I used to allow people to betray me with no consequence. I used to allow people to use me. To come in and out of my life whenever they pleased. I allowed jobs to overwork and underpay me. I've allowed "family" back into my life after betraying me, and to no surprise, they did it again. I used to allow space for others negativity and drama.
Eventually, I got sick of it. The more I grew, the less I allowed. The more I learned, the less I judged and the easier it was to release everything/everyone that wasn't in alignment with who I wanted to become. The less I allowed, the more I grew.
Maybe you're allowing people to treat you poorly. Or friends that don't actually support you to still be in your life when it's convenient for them. Or maybe you allow that person to continuously fuck you over and keep running back to them. Or maybe you haven't set boundaries with your toxic family members. Or maybe you allow your coworkers negative energy into your space.
Whatever you're allowing that you know in your heart is preventing you from growing, it's time to release it. IT'S YOU, NOT THEM. Other people can act and say whatever they want, it's your choice whether you allow space for them or not. You get to choose which environments you put yourself in. You can choose to walk away or set boundaries.
For so long I stayed stuck in the same place because I didn't realize I was in my own way. I didn't realize I was ALLOWING those things to happen. I didn't realize how powerful I was. Stop giving your power away. Take it back. Starting today.
Decide right now... If it doesn't elevate your energy, your mind, your soul, or your bank account balance - it's not for you. If it's not helping you grow, bringing you joy, making you money, or soothing your soul - THEN IT'S A FUCK NO FOR YOU. If it is not a fuck yes, it's a fuck NO.
Stop being afraid to ask for what you want and declare what you need. Boundaries can be uncomfortable to set but they're essential to maintain if you want to live your best life. You are worthy of boundaries. You are worthy of living the life you've been dreaming of. Life is so damn short, why waste it on people or things that don't even serve a purpose?
It's important to note, I'm not telling you to look down on people or judge. That's not a behavior that's in alignment with your highest self. Everyone is in their own stage of life and sometimes, if you're on two completely different journeys where maybe you are healing and they are not, there needs to be some distance. We are who we spend the most time with. Who I was 7 years ago is totally different than who I am today, which is exactly why there are some people I no longer surround myself with. But never judge because you were once a less healed, less mature, less evolved version of yourself.
As a coach, I empathize (NOT to be confused with sympathize) with anyone who is far from their growth journey because I was once that person too. Maybe in a different way or situation, but the empathy is still there. People only do what they know. If they don't YET know, they won't yet do. For me, I try to add value in those situations but you can't teach someone who doesn't want to learn. This is something I want you to remember, because as you evolve, you may have people around you who won't. Who aren't ready because they aren't open and aren't willing. You can't force growth on people, trust me.
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